Did you see this? I laughed out loud — but that’s probably because I love English words. [can’t figure out how to embed the video so you don’t have to click on the link]
Sorry.
Let’s get to the point!
It’s hard to stay open-hearted at school. So many frustrating difficulties are encountered every day — difficulties with time, machines, supplies, spaces. It’s hard to let go of these difficulties, particularly they seem to pile up, without a pause, difficulty after difficulty! It can feel as if I’m being targeted by every possible frustration.
And then, when I must also put on a positive attitude smile for the adults who expect to see that phony grin daily, it’s tempting to just keep that happy face mask on and just withdraw behind the outwardly pleasant mask. But haven’t we heard lots about the dangers of being outwardly pleasant while inwardly seething? It’s especially dangerous when we face tweens and teens in a classroom, as we know they are the most sensitive of all the Geiger Counters of Authenticity.
So, what’s a dedicated teacher to do? When I want to stay open-hearted toward students and fellow staff-members despite these moments of vexation? When I want to return to an asset mindset toward all my students, even those who are maddening?
I checked with experts (Mayo Clinic, Calm.com, HealthAdvocate.com, and of course Reddit) and here are some of their tips:
Breathe deeply, and relax shoulders, forehead, and fingers: Changes in the body can result in changes in the mind.
Reframe negative self-talk toward more growth-focused self talk: When I hear my thoughts focus on “I can’t regain an open heart today,” consciously tell myself (maybe aloud?) “I will try again to open my heart today.”
Seek humor in the midst of the difficulty: Even remembering something funny from a different context can help. This is why people save videos of laughing babies and cats doing weird things, not to mention British people wandering the city using big words.
Practice thankfulness: Being grateful for privileges and blessings I enjoy actually helps me remember that I don’t deserve those privileges or blessings, but they are here for me to enjoy nonetheless.
What’s a tip that offers some help to you? Doing something nice for someone else is another really good way to reset our mindset!
In addition to those tips, the reminder I most needed (back in the day when I was in the classroom for most of my waking hours) was that my students are humans, just as I am. They have good moments and not-so-good moments, helpful urges and destructive urges, things they do well and things they aren’t doing well. So all the tolerance, forgiveness, and second-chances that I am so grateful for — well, my students need those, too.
This is actually how “love your neighbor as yourself” works in real life. When I can see that student as a human who needs the attention and care that all of us humans require to flourish, I remember that their teacher (me!) is in the perfect spot (right here and now!) to help that student to flourish, and I can open my heart to them again. I can realize that student’s unique and valuable gifts and resources (their assets!) again, and I can recall that my student likely needs reminding of their assets at this moment, too. Because we all do — all of us humans need more reminding of our assets.
What happens then? A moment of real connection between us humans. And maybe that need for human connection is what the difficulty of the last few moments was really about after all.
So I encourage you to practice resetting your mindset when you encounter difficulties. Every time we practice, we strengthen our ability to reset our mindset. We get better and better at this!
If you found this helpful, please share it with another teacher who might also find it helpful. Thanks a bunch!
Such wise observations. Let's all hope they come to mind when we need them and not when the moment has passed and we regret inaction or the wrong action